A Thought for the Weekend

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the conditions that surround him… The unreasonable man adapts surrounding conditions to himself… All progress depends on the unreasonable man.” – George Bernard Shaw

Farmers’ Market Polls: Winter 2014

New Albany’s Common Council is discussing a request to make a sizable investment to build additional structures there, locking in that site’s use as a permanent farmers’ market. What do you think?

It Costs Far Too Much

Building a new shelter and bathrooms for New Albany’s farmers’ market is a bad idea made worse by a stunningly high price tag attached to it. Very little I’ll say here that I haven’t said before, but it clearly needs to be said again. The farmers’ market needs no expansion.

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New Albany owns a prime tract of property at the corner of Bank and East Market streets (the southwest corner, so to speak). It was once and now is again the site of a thriving weekly farmers’ market during the warmer months. It also hosts sellers for a few late-day hours during the week.

James Garner’s mayoral administration (2004-2007), hoping to attract a critical mass of vendors to ensure that downtown had a farmers’ market, but unable to manage it, granted Develop New Albany (DNA) the exclusive contract to operate and manage the market. Within just a few years, DNA recruited a nice mix of farm product vendors, making the weekly farmers’ market an essential part of our weekend.

Now, while the vendors are what make the market, I would not begrudge the giving of applause to DNA for bringing the market back to life. It had developed a really nasty reputation with farmers in the area and for holding it together the way they have, the putative Main Street organization deserves praise.

There is much – and I mean MUCH – about DNA that deserves criticism, starting with their … oh, never mind. That is not what this is about.

The market is great. The current manager claims that the vendors are insisting that the city cough up $321,000 for a second shelter and bathrooms. She also implies that some vendors have “threatened” to leave the market unless we do so.

The only such “threats” I’ve heard about arose when the manager herself decided that she was not the landlord, but the boss. These vendors are independent business people. Such people don’t take kindly to being bossed around. Because their market business is transient, it is not tied to New Albany. I don’t believe a single farmer who sells there lives in this city. They do have options.

Here’s what a market vendor wants: A market where (many) people come to buy their farm products. That’s it.

No one has even hinted that market traffic is dwindling. No one has said that we have too few vendors and need more covered space. The market is meeting demand and most vendors are doing well. Vendors with seniority are under cover. Vendors without seniority bring pop-up tents when necessary.

In fact, I’ve heard two complaints. One is that the market is too crowded. The other is that carrying groceries from the market can be an ordeal when shoppers must park blocks away.

Frankly, the discussion should end here. The market does not need to be expanded. If it does need to be expanded, the current location is not the right place. And $321,000 is far too high a price tag for the taxpayers to bear.

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Most farmers markets are set up in idle parking lots or even fields. In a distant past, our market was semi-permanent and sited down the middle of, yes, Market Street. Vestiges remain today. The current shed is, to be blunt, a bit of an eyesore. By design, it is supposed to conjure the image of a steaming paddlewheeler of the type so skillfully built by New Albanians in the city’s first century.

Instead, visitors to our city probably wonder why a large picnic shelter is sited on such a central piece of the city’s property.

For 216 hours a year, however, it serves a purpose. Vendors, mostly farmers, come in from out of town and peddle their wares to an appreciative public. Saturdays are particularly vibrant. In contrast, most downtown businesses are open that many hours each month, 12 months a year.

And yet, we’re being asked to pay for a $321,000 facility to host transient businesses from out of town. There’s something deeply wrong when anyone thinks this is a good idea.

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Would the farmers’ market collapse if it were moved? It might, but I seriously doubt it. Market Street itself is configured in such a way that the entire market could be set up on the north side of the street. Vendors could sell off the back of their trucks or off tables. Portable tents could be easily erected to provide cover for vendors and shoppers.

At least 2 city council members believe that the city’s parking garage, just 2 blocks away (and situated beside a two-way street) would serve as an excellent alternate site if there is truly a need and demand for an expanded farmers’ market. It’s an idea worth exploring.

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To me, the most compelling argument against spending $321,000 to expand the farmers’ market is the intrinsic value of the land on which it sits. For one thing, sinking that kind of money into that site makes a statement that this plot of land is and always shall be the site of some kind of “official” farmers’ market. Granted, having a farmers’ market there is a nice amenity. But there are dozens of nearby locations where a temporary market can be established, and quickly.

My own building, 2 1/2 blocks away, gives you some idea of what $321,000 can buy. The Destinations Booksellers building is slightly more than 3,000 s.f. It is a year-round, climate-controlled, secured building with ethernet, gas heat, air conditioning, electricity, and water. It includes a licensable functional kitchen and bathrooms. In addition, it has more than 4,000 s.f. of paved parking that would be suitable for temporary vendors to set up tents.

Nearby are plenty of parking spaces.

Now, if that’s available downtown today for that price, why on earth would the city pay that much for 2 bathrooms and another shed cover on a key commercial corner of downtown?

In fact, let me make this offer. Pay me $321,000 for my building and give me an option on the land where the city intends to invest $321,000. I’ll vacate the property within 30 days of closing and find another place for my store.

While I’m completely serious about that offer, I don’t think that if the current proposal were framed that way that anyone would be proposing to do it. Maybe so, but it’s awfully hard to imagine.

And yet, here we are trying to stop the city from pouring vast sums into a farmers’ market that’s open 216 hours a year.

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I’m told the city council will be discussing this appropriation at this Thursday’s regular meeting. If you can’t go to the meeting, call your council member and let them know what you think of the idea. I know that CM Baird and CM Benedetti are on record as supporting the idea. Presumably, at least 2 other CMs are in favor, so this decision will be a close-run thing. Call the mayor, whose Board of Public Works and Safety came within a few minutes of approving this expenditure. Ask him to oppose it and to veto it if it passes through the council (they’ve already appropriated $271,000 for it). Let’s stop it right now.

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DNA is running a curiously tricky poll that casts the decision as being between expanding the market in place or moving the market to the city’s parking garage. It’s a dishonest poll designed to present false choices and generate support for their desired windfall on the backs of the taxpayers.

Read these pieces at NA Confidential, please. Then go vote FOR the garage proposal, if only to show that you won’t be fooled.

Develop New Albany’s on-line farmers market “poll” is a reeking, juvenile cesspool of intellectual dishonesty.

Yo, DNA: Here are some examples of OUR propaganda. You can have the hearts. We’ll take the minds.

Maybe the city could buy indoor space for the Winter Farmers Market. Would $108K do it?

As the farmers market follies morph into farce, City Hall just stands there. Why is that?

… Perhaps, the End of the Beginning

After three years of war, Allied forces had a victory to celebrate. Sir Winston Churchill addressed his nation on the occasion of victory in what he called the Battle of Egypt. British forces overwhelmed Rommel’s Afrika Korps and, for the most part, began the long reverse of Nazi hegemony. U.S. troops, working from the west, had freed the continent and begun to prepare for the jump to Sicily and then Europe proper.

Jeff Speck

On Tuesday, New Albany’s Board of Public Works and Safety set in motion the hiring of Jeff Speck, a pre-eminent urbanist and planner and the author of Walkable City: How Downtown Can Save America, One Step At a Time.

In trying to come to terms with the import of this event (and believe me, this could be the most important public expenditure of our still-young century), I thought of Rick Atkinson’s Liberation Trilogy, a chronicle of World War II in the West, consisting of An Army At Dawn, The Day of Battle, and Guns At Last Light.

Churchill, in his address at The Mansion House, said this: Now, this is not the end. It is not even the beginning to the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.

It has been my personal mission, joined by many others, to find a way to impress on our city leaders the criticality of paying attention to the consequences of our broken streets grid. We have shared with the city best practices, white papers, books, and articles from across the country and the world that show how smart streets spur prosperity.

In one wonderful package, Jeff Speck put it all together, outlining a prescription for nothing less than the salvation of cities. By what I can only presume was either divine intervention or fate, circumstances conspired to have Mr. Speck personally speak to more than 100 leaders of the community a little more than a month ago.

Until now, January 16, 2014, would have been the “red letter day” for New Albany. March 4, 2014 eclipses that now.

On that cold and snowy midwinter Thursday, armed with visuals specific to our city, Speck surgically excised years of accretions and cancers that have prevented a comprehensive review of our harmful one-way street grid. As he wielded his knife, a number of us were astonished to see those most (ir)responsible for the current condition of our street grid sit calmly as their most cherished shibboleths were demolished.

That is, the mayor, some council members, and the full administration sat there placidly while being told that everything they had held dear was wrong. That their timidity was holding our city back and actively damaging the small businesses that make downtown their home.

Fortunately for us, making New Albany a walkable city won’t cost us much of anything, financially. If the city will take Speck’s advice, we may, perhaps, be able to say that this is the end of the beginning.

Much more than economic development is at stake. Public safety and the quiet enjoyment of our properties, residential and commercial, stand to benefit greatly.

And yet, much more work remains. If wisdom exists there, city hall can call on us to help lay the groundwork for what will certainly be Speck’s recommendations to us. Quite a few of us, from among both supporters and opponents of the current administration, are fully conversant with the principles and practices that Speck will provide us over the next six months. We can help build support for the transformation of New Albany’s streets.

Suspicion lingers, though. But $75,000 is a great deal of money to throw away if today’s vote to contract with Speck is merely a rope-a-dope tactic. Not that this city has shown its unwillingness to throw away money.

I questioned it, wondering if this is all a dream. Another has already warned that this expenditure is not a good-faith effort but, rather, a means to smother a building fire of public support and insistence that change is required.

The embers may be banked temporarily, but only so we won’t have to rebuild the fire from scratch. The fire will not be extinguished.

If you’re on Twitter (and seriously, why wouldn’t you be?), follow Jeff Speck at @jeffspeckaicp. Send him a welcome message and let him know you will be eager to hear his ideas. I think that will mean a lot.

Read more:

Gonder for New Albany http://johngonder.blogspot.com/2014/03/pitch-till-you-win.html

NA Confidential http://cityofnewalbany.blogspot.com/2014/03/tunnel-beneath-paywall-and-reflect-will.html

Jeff Speck http://jeffspeck.com/

And even more reading, just out:

Ballet of the Sidewalk http://www.metropolismag.com/February-2014/Ballet-of-the-Sidewalk/

“Oh, Indiana, Please Stop Breaking My Heart!”

Every once in a while, we discover something written from afar but aimed directly at New Albany. Remember the Chicago Tribune story from 2008 where a downtown businessman declared (implicitly representing us) that he could never vote for a black man for president?

rainbow_state_of_indiana_print-r53adb1d9f3914f5fbf8edc90cff8b4e5_zxm_8byvr_324

As the Hoosier State reckons with what is surely the preeminent civil rights issue of this decade, shame rains down again on us and again we speak out as if to say “that’s not what we believe.”

Long story short, here’s a poignant story from a former New Albanian who still considers herself a Hoosier.  Some of you may know her. She’s Valerie Alexander, nee Horwitz, a graduate of NAHS who, honest to goodness, could not wait to find her future elsewhere. Listen up …

  • When I was in eighth grade, I had to move my things into my boyfriend’s locker at school because someone painted swastikas all over my locker and the school never got around to repainting them. After two weeks, I finally got sick of it and walked out of my art class one day and painted over them myself — an act for which I got a one-day suspension from school.Some people didn’t care at all that I was one of the chosen people and others made a thing of it every day. One boy in particular never let it go.

Read more here, if you think you can stand it.

Word of the Year Entry: Obfuscation

Contributors are genuinely getting with the spirit of the 2014 New Albany Word of the Year contest. Our latest offering is obfuscation.

obfuscate

[In a town whose voters are crying out for transparency and among an independent business cadre desperately trying to read smoke signals from the third floor of the City-County Building, we instead get obfuscation.

Not to make the NAWOTY entry excessively political, but ...

The immediate past administration had developed obfuscation to the level of an academic discipline. In comparison to the England regime's doctorate level work, the current Gahan administration offers obfuscation with the skills of a middle school AV Club - lots of enthusiastic embrace of the concept without a nuanced understanding of how to make it work.

For you see, obfuscation is a failed policy when all who survey it can recognize its naked exercise.]*

94B011E4D2346B70CED6CDD6E9BB57

The word worked its way into the English vocabulary in the early 16th Century, derived from a Latin word meaning “to darken.”

The root word, obfuscate, is one that is best served by formal definitions. Here’s the dictionary.com offering:

  • to confuse, bewilder, or stupefy
  • to make obscure or unclear: to obfuscate a problem with extraneous information
  • to darken
  • SYNONYMS: 1. muddle, perplex 2. cloud
  • ANTONYM: 1. clarify

Wikipedia does an adequate job, too, saying it is the hiding of intended meaning in communication, making communication confusing, willfully ambiguous, and harder to interpret.

The Free Dictionary online captures it best, describing it as the process of darkening or obscuring so as to hinder ready analysis.

I find it interesting that in each of these definitions, obfuscation is not an accidental event. It involves direct agency and intent. That is, those who practice obfuscation do so willingly and knowingly, fully intending to hinder ready analysis.

good luck sign

Also of some interest is the use of the technique in writing software code. Certain computer programming languages are easy to decompile, which allows the user to reverse engineer commands. To prevent this, programmers often include obfuscations to deter such acts.

Conservative Barton Swaim on the editorial page of The Wall Street Journal penned a defense of political obfuscation in January. As a former political aide, he explains it better than I could, but the headline writer nailed it with this sub-hed: “Saying almost nothing has its uses and is harder than it seems.”

A teacher of teachers of literature relates something his grandfather used to say: “Not knowing to any degree of certainty, I decline to elucidate lest I should prevaricate.” That reminds me of yet another former mayor – a man honest to a fault but unable to hold onto his office – perhaps because he could not or would not obfuscate.

For what it’s worth, obfuscate is #166 on this AP English Literature & Composition Master Vocabulary List. Presumably, it’s a word we all should know. Certainly, it’s a concept we all should be able to recognize when it’s being used to bedazzle us.

EXTRA:

This dialogue from The X-Files, apparently from season 4, episode 4, gives flavor to the word.

Scully: “Mulder, not everything is a labyrinth of dark conspiracy, and not everybody is plotting to deceive, inveigle, and obfuscate.”

and later:

Scully: “Where are you going?”

Mulder: “To find someone who I know plotted to deceive, inveigle, and obfuscate.”

deceive

Stephen Scott

*This passage has been excised from the cross posting at the bookstore blog

Word of the Year Entry: Barnacle

As you will know, we’ve launched a year-long quest for submissions for singular words that best define New Albany – a Word of the Year contest – about which you can read in an earlier post.

In December, we’ll present the 16 best word submissions and via public voting, have a playdown ending in January of 2015. All submissions that make the playdown will earn contributors a copy of the Webster’s New World Pocket Dictionary, 4th Edition. The contributor who submits the winning word will receive a $100 gift certificate for purchases at Destinations Booksellers.

Our non-profit partner (who will be revealed later this year) and our store would certainly welcome anyone who wants to to pitch in with ancillary, subsidiary, and special prizes. Think of the competition as if it were the Cannes Film Festival. There should be lots of deserving winners, even among those submissions that don’t make the playdown.

If you, your organization, or your business would like to designate a special prize, get in touch with us.

BARNACLE - [bahr-nuh-kuhl]

Copyright © 2003 Illawarra Environmental Education Centre

Rose Barnacles (credit
Illawarra Environmental Education Centre)

The word is thought to be derived from a Celtic word, bernik, meaning a type of shellfish.

The American Heritage Science dictionary defines it this way: Any of various small marine crustaceans of the subclass Cirripedia that form a hard shell in the adult stage and attach themselves to underwater surfaces, such as rocks, the bottoms of ships, and the skin of whales.

The American Heritage Science dictionary defines it this way: Any of various small marine crustaceans of the subclass Cirripedia that form a hard shell in the adult stage and attach themselves to underwater surfaces, such as rocks, the bottoms of ships, and the skin of whales.

The Animal Planet website offers a good discussion of barnacles.

In the context of New Albany, after a discussion with the contributor, we could not settle on whether the submission should be literal, metaphorical, or a little of both.

According to a news article at phys.org, The U.S. Navy estimates that biofouling—the accumulation of unwanted marine organisms, such as barnacles and seaweeds, on the hulls of ships—can reduce a ship’s speed by 10% and increase fuel consumption by 40%. Read more here.

Biofouling, huh? So, in order for a ship to move forward, friction needs to be minimized. The hull of a ship, if either left unattended or not otherwise “inoculated” against it, will gradually accrete to itself organisms that diminish the ship’s ability to move forward effectively and efficiently.

If we think of our city as a ship moving through the water, wouldn’t we want that ship to move forward effectively and efficiently? Wouldn’t we scrape the accretions of barnacles that inhibit our ship’s progress?

These organisms, on balance, are a hazard to the forward motion of a ship. It appears our contributor has chosen a word that encapsulates the biofouling problem in New Albany. Which organisms need to be scraped off the hull? Can we figuratively apply microtexturing to the hull to prevent future accretions?

EXTRA

Barnacle Bill, the Sailor, is a now obscure but once vivid presence in popular culture. Several generations of children learned the song (at least the bowdlerized kiddie version) and it still maintains a commercial presence in various American seaside haunts, including several seafood restaurants.

barnacle bill the sailor

At least five films can be found where Barnacle Bill is featured: 1930′s Fleischer Studios animated short Barnacle Bill, featuring Betty Boop as “Bill’s” gal; 1935′s Barnacle Bill, an English production starring Archie Pitt; 1935′s Beware of Barnacle Bill, another Betty Boop animated film; 1941′s Barnacle Bill, starring Wallace Beery and Marjorie Main; and 1957′s All at Sea, a comedy starring Alec Guiness as a failed Royal Navy officer reduced to running a seaside pier.

The character of Bluto in the earliest Popeye cartoons, was modeled on the character.

The song was a traditional American drinking song derived from an earlier folk tune. Here’s a “safe” version on YouTube of Bix Beiderbecke’s orchestra performing the song as written by Hoagy Carmichael, the Hoosier legend.

NSFW

Here now are decidedly UNSAFE lyrics to the song. DO NOT read further if you are offended by coarse language.

Who’s that knocking at my door?
Who’s that knocking at my door?
Who’s that knocking at my door?
said the fair young maiden

Well

Open the door ya fuckin’ whore
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
Open the door ya fuckin’ whore
said Barnacle Bill the sailor

Shall we go to the dance?
Shall we go to the dance?
Shall we go to the dance?
said the fair young maiden

Well

To hell with the dance and down with your pants
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
To hell with the dance and down with your pants
said Barnacle Bill the sailor

What’s that thing between your legs?
What’s that thing between your legs?
What’s that thing between your legs?
said the fair young maiden

Well

It’s only me pole to stick up your hole
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
It’s only me pole to stick up your hole
said Barnacle Bill the sailor

What’s that stuff around your pole?
What’s that stuff around your pole?
What’s that stuff around your pole?
said the fair young maiden

Well

It’s only me grass to tickle your ass
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
It’s only me grass to tickle your ass
said Barnacle Bill the sailor

What’s that dripping down your leg?
What’s that dripping down your leg?

What’s that dripping down your leg?
said the fair young maiden

Well

It’s only a shot that missed your twat
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
It’s only a shot that missed your twat
said Barnacle Bill the sailor

What if we should have a boy?
What if we should have a boy?
What if we should have a boy?
said the fair young maiden

Well

He’ll go to sea and fuck like me
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
He’ll go to sea and fuck like me
said Barnacle Bill the sailor

What if we should have a girl…

Well we’ll dig a ditch and bury the bitch
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
We’ll dig a ditch and bury the bitch
said Barnacle Bill the sailor

What if Ma and Pa should come home early?
What if Ma and Pa should come home early?
What if Ma and Pa should come home early?
(and find us screwing our brains out on the living room floor)
said the fair young maiden

Well

I’ll fuck your Ma and blow your Pa
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
I’ll fuck your Ma and blow your Pa
said Barnacle Bill the sailor

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