Though it all occurs behind the curtain, it’s pretty obvious that the key to cracking open the New Albany city treasury to further your pet project (and to concurrently feather a few simpatico nests) is to know the shibboleth.
The good folks at Merriam-Webster give us as definition 1a the following: a word or saying used by adherents of a party, sect, or belief and usually regarded by others as empty of real meaning.
Other primary definitions from that dictionary team explain shibboleth as an old idea, opinion, or saying that is commonly believed and repeated but that may be seen as old-fashioned or untrue; and as a word or way of speaking or behaving which shows that a person belongs to a particular group.
What is New Albany’s shibboleth?
Say it with me: QUALITY OF LIFE.
I was taught that shibboleth was a Hebrew word meaning “stream,” and that its use was a kind of separating password that aided the men of Gilead in their war against the Ephraimites.
Here’s how it’s told in the NIV version of Judges 12:5-6:
- 5The Gileadites captured the fords of the Jordan opposite Ephraim. And it happened when any of the fugitives of Ephraim said, “Let me cross over,” the men of Gilead would say to him, “Are you an Ephraimite?” If he said, “No,” 6then they would say to him, “Say now, ‘Shibboleth.'” But he said, “Sibboleth,” for he could not pronounce it correctly. Then they seized him and slew him at the fords of the Jordan. Thus there fell at that time 42,000 of Ephraim.
In the hills of Tennessee, where I was raised, we had our own shibboleths. Though they were separators of the knowing and the ignorant, they seemed to be failures to pronounce a word or place name and marked an outlander as surely as anything could. The county seat on the approach to the Smokies is Sevierville, named after John Sevier, a Revolutionary War soldier and Tennessee’s first governor. Outsiders will ask how to get to Seevurs-ville, instantly identifying them as strangers and always eliciting a chuckle. Around here, Versailles, or even Charlestown serve as shibboleths.
Yes, the password to the city’s vaults is “quality of life,” though pronouncing it is never the “catch.” And the words spoken in the name of quality of life often seem to be said only by adherents of a party, sect, or belief and usually regarded by others as empty of real meaning.
I often feel as if I’m in some fugue, some dream state, when I see the price tags on what this sect likes to call “quality of life” projects. Just this week, in regard to the city’s problem with speeding, I was asked “Doesn’t that fall under ‘quality of life?'” At first, I didn’t recognize the shibboleth, it having been so abused and misused, but I quickly recovered with an enthusiastic “Yes. Yes it does.”
Had this city ever had a discussion about spending on quality of life issues, I would have been there – with bells on. In fact, I and others have been talking about nothing less for almost a decade, only to have our ideas dismissed.
I’m known to be ardently opposed to the $20 million bond issue this city is about to sign for to pay for a rec center and a pool. Not that I’m opposed to recreation projects. Far from it. But a $9 million pool and another $11 million borrowed for amorphous recreation projects is simply irresponsible. It’s far too much money, especially the pool, which will become little more than a private country club for those who can pay the toll. This city will NEVER get out from under that debt.
And I’ve offered alternatives that would achieve 5 times the benefits at, maybe, one-third the cost. But no, the sect chants in unison “Quality of Life, QualityofLife, qualityoflife” and all outsiders are expected to sit down, shut up, and mind their manners.
Case in point: I’m the only candidate for city council who made the construction of one or more dog parks a platform during the last municipal election, so my bona fides aren’t suspect. But when I see that the city intends to spend $150,000 on a dog park, I’m incredulous. That’s simply outrageous.
And now we hear that at least $275,000 will be spent to erect another canopy at the Farmers’ Market. $275,000 to ensure that businesses that don’t pay taxes here will have a place to conduct commerce 200 hours a year. We rely on the Farmers’ Market ourselves, but there’s simply no justification in spending that kind of money.
You want a list of quality of life projects that will yield much higher returns at much lower cost? I’ll be happy to point you in the right direction to find fully fleshed-out proposals that have been put forward by citizens but that have been rejected for sectarian reasons.
This is our money, folks. And we are pissing it away in the name of some doctrinaire and blinkered perception of what actually builds and enhances the quality of our lives in this river town.
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I will be publishing a report on New Albany’s speeding scandal on Monday evening. Thank you for your patience.
The NewAlbanist 