Pay No Attention To That Man Behind the Curtain

Though it all occurs behind the curtain, it’s pretty obvious that the key to cracking open the New Albany city treasury to further your pet project (and to concurrently feather a few simpatico nests) is to know the shibboleth.

The good folks at Merriam-Webster give us as definition 1a the following: a word or saying used by adherents of a party, sect, or belief and usually regarded by others as empty of real meaning.

Other primary definitions from that dictionary team explain shibboleth as an old idea, opinion, or saying that is commonly believed and repeated but that may be seen as old-fashioned or untrue; and as a word or way of speaking or behaving which shows that a person belongs to a particular group.

What is New Albany’s shibboleth?

Say it with me: QUALITY OF LIFE.

I was taught that shibboleth was a Hebrew word meaning “stream,” and that its use was a kind of separating password that aided the men of Gilead in their war against the Ephraimites.

Here’s how it’s told in the NIV version of Judges 12:5-6:

• 5The Gileadites captured the fords of the Jordan opposite Ephraim. And it happened when any of the fugitives of Ephraim said, “Let me cross over,” the men of Gilead would say to him, “Are you an Ephraimite?” If he said, “No,” 6then they would say to him, “Say now, ‘Shibboleth.'” But he said, “Sibboleth,” for he could not pronounce it correctly. Then they seized him and slew him at the fords of the Jordan. Thus there fell at that time 42,000 of Ephraim.

In the hills of Tennessee, where I was raised, we had our own shibboleths. Though they were separators of the knowing and the ignorant, they seemed to be failures to pronounce a word or place name and marked an outlander as surely as anything could. The county seat on the approach to the Smokies is Sevierville, named after John Sevier, a Revolutionary War soldier and Tennessee’s first governor. Outsiders will ask how to get to Seevurs-ville, instantly identifying them as strangers and always eliciting a chuckle. Around here, Versailles, or even Charlestown serve as shibboleths.

Yes, the password to the city’s vaults is “quality of life,” though pronouncing it is never the “catch.” And the words spoken in the name of quality of life often seem to be said only by adherents of a party, sect, or belief and usually regarded by others as empty of real meaning.

I often feel as if I’m in some fugue, some dream state, when I see the price tags on what this sect likes to call “quality of life” projects. Just this week, in regard to the city’s problem with speeding, I was asked “Doesn’t that fall under ‘quality of life?'” At first, I didn’t recognize the shibboleth, it having been so abused and misused, but I quickly recovered with an enthusiastic “Yes. Yes it does.”

Had this city ever had a discussion about spending on quality of life issues, I would have been there – with bells on. In fact, I and others have been talking about nothing less for almost a decade, only to have our ideas dismissed.

I’m known to be ardently opposed to the $20 million bond issue this city is about to sign for to pay for a rec center and a pool. Not that I’m opposed to recreation projects. Far from it. But a $9 million pool and another $11 million borrowed for amorphous recreation projects is simply irresponsible. It’s far too much money, especially the pool, which will become little more than a private country club for those who can pay the toll. This city will NEVER get out from under that debt.

And I’ve offered alternatives that would achieve 5 times the benefits at, maybe, one-third the cost. But no, the sect chants in unison “Quality of Life, QualityofLife, qualityoflife” and all outsiders are expected to sit down, shut up, and mind their manners.

Case in point: I’m the only candidate for city council who made the construction of one or more dog parks a platform during the last municipal election, so my bona fides aren’t suspect. But when I see that the city intends to spend $150,000 on a dog park, I’m incredulous. That’s simply outrageous.

And now we hear that at least $275,000 will be spent to erect another canopy at the Farmers’ Market. $275,000 to ensure that businesses that don’t pay taxes here will have a place to conduct commerce 200 hours a year. We rely on the Farmers’ Market ourselves, but there’s simply no justification in spending that kind of money.

You want a list of quality of life projects that will yield much higher returns at much lower cost? I’ll be happy to point you in the right direction to find fully fleshed-out proposals that have been put forward by citizens but that have been rejected for sectarian reasons.

This is our money, folks. And we are pissing it away in the name of some doctrinaire and blinkered perception of what actually builds and enhances the quality of our lives in this river town.

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I will be publishing a report on New Albany’s speeding scandal on Monday evening. Thank you for your patience.

Dr. Cannon Offers a Considered Opinion on Bond Issue

I’ve been blessed over my time in New Albany to have had numerous lengthy conversations with Dr. Dan Cannon. I’m happy to see him speaking out about the bond issue just approved by New Albany’s city council. While I don’t necessarily subscribe to everything said below, I do consider it as a useful contribution to the discussion. This letter to the News and Tribune adds appreciably to that part of the discussion going on in the community (as opposed to that going on exclusively on the Third Floor of the City-County Building). Before we allow the independent redevelopment body to proceed, there need to be many more such discussions.

New Albany resident urges wiser spending

It is with considerable trepidation that I venture my opinion concerning the construction of a sports center espoused by Mayor Jeff Gahan and some members of the City Council, as reported in a recent edition of the News and Tribune.

Have these people, our elected representatives, lost all sense of fiscal responsibility? Our children and our grandchildren will be burdened by this indebtedness. Recreational facilities may be desirable, but they are not essential.

Streets, sidewalks, drainage and sewage, the homeless, the poor, police and fire protection, education, etc., are ongoing problems in our city, the solutions to which are far more essential than another recreational enterprise, which would serve only a small proportion of our population. The operation of such a complex is costly to say nothing of its maintenance, all of which are ongoing expenses and we have not mentioned the millions of dollars in interest which must be paid along with the almost $20 million in original cost.

Our governments, local as well as national, already are so overburdened by debt that the interest alone amounts to a considerable portion of income. Is it fair to us, to our children, and to their children, to obligate us, as well as our descendants — who have no voice whatsoever in the matter — to pay for such nonessentials? Why must we have instant gratification? What has happened to responsible government? Why can’t we save the money necessary and pay cash when we build it? (The total cost would be less than half).”

Mr. Mayor, members of the council: Please, spend our money wisely. Do not burden us with debt. Do not burden our children with debt. Be thrifty. Be fiscally responsible.

— Daniel l. Cannon, M.D., New Albany

Electronic link to Dr. Cannon’s letter

In case anyone wonders, Dr. Cannon and I have not spoken to or otherwise communicated with each other in many months. Thus, our respective opinions have been composed and expressed independently. As you will know, I believe that more people should express their opinions on this bond issue and the projects for which we are about to go into debt. As for the aquatic center, I do not believe the people of New Albany want it or need it.

Crippling Bond Issue Based on False Premises

It’s official. Jeff Gahan and his cohort think we’re stupid. It’s time to issue a call to the mayor and the city council saying, in no uncertain terms, “We know what you’re up to. We are not fooled. Surrender now to the people of New Albany or pay the price at the ballot box in 2015.”

I’m addressing myself to just 2 of the projects approved Thursday night (Feb. 21, 2013) giving approval to the sale of property-tax backed municipal bonds in an amount as high as $19.6 million and at an interest rate of as high as 7%.

Those 2 are the outdoor pool and the creation of a greatly expanded farmer’s market complex.

Let’s get right to the numbers, remembering that I had previously proposed a far more popular and cost-effective aquatic recreation program consisting of multiple spray parks distributed across the city. Let me today add my proposal for the creation of 2 dog parks – 1 for smaller dogs and another for larger dogs.

According to the newspaper of record, the Gahan administration is proceeding with plans for a $9 million aquatic center to be located at the failed site of the Camille Wright swimming pool off W. Daisy Lane.

Their professional design consultant, The Estopinal Group (and who else would you expect them to use?) says that a new outdoor facility can be expected to have 66,000 visits each year and to generate $932.000 in revenues. TEG asserts that the operating costs of the pool will not exceed $700,000 annually. Simple arithmetic yields a net revenue stream of $232,000 each year.

Oh, but that it were true.

66,000 visits
The most compelling reason the previous parks administration abandoned the Camille Wright site was the extreme lack of demand shown by New Albany residents. Even if we assume that the new outdoor aquaplex becomes wildly popular upon opening and maintains that high attendance throughout the life of the facility, I project more like 18,000 visits. That represents 200 visitors over a 90 day period, a reasonable estimate given our climate and the expectation that the pool will only be open from Memorial Day to, perhaps, Labor Day.

But what about this wrinkle? Our local schools corporation just adopted a 12-month academic school year, otherwise known as year-round school. We’ve not experienced yet a summer in which school attendance is the norm, but ask any teacher or principal how that’s going to impact summer recreation as we knew it in the latter decades of the 20th century.

And our summer weather will have to cooperate, too. Though we’ve experienced some years of absolutely torrid temperatures and drought, it’s pretty easy to figure that a good 20 days will be washouts due to rain, storms, or the impending threat of storms. So now we have 70 days averaging 200 visitors, or 14,000 visits.

I maintain that societal norms have changed, too. No longer will parents think it prudent to just drop off their kids at the pool for a few hours or all day. No longer will most kids bike or hike out to the city limits to laze by the pool. No longer will any public facility deign to be a babysitter for unaccompanied minors. Our neighboring cities of Clarksville and Jeffersonville do not allow children under 14 to attend without an accompanying adult guardian. While 15-year-old Abby can head over to the pool, she cannot take along her 12-year-old sister unless an adult also pays for an admission.

Societal attitudes about playing out in the sun have also changed dramatically. When I was a kid, a sunburn was a sunburn and a finely crafted tan was the epitome of beauty and cool. Today we know much better. Every sunburn adds appreciably to the future expectation of skin cancers. Tanning is retrograde, left to the ignorant and the reckless. Sure, SPF factors are now available in the 3-digit range, but ask any pediatrician whether they recommend prolonged exposure to the sun. Ask any optometrist or ophthalmologist the same questiion.

And what kids find cool today is NOT the same thing people the age of Scott Blair, Pat McLaughlin, John Gonder, Bob Caesar, Dan Coffey, and Greg Phipps found to be cool. They, and we, may lament that, but we don’t live in the same world we grew up in. As I’ve said before, Mr. Gahan’s vision is at odds with modernity, not to mention with current progressive recreational facility planning. And we, by handcuffing our city treasury with a 20-year obligation, are paying for it.

$932,000 in annual revenues
Already we’ve said we don’t believe the city’s attendance estimates. But say they are correct. Do you realize that the $932,000 in annual revenue is predicated on an average admission fee of $14.12 for each of those 66,000 visitors?

This assumes that absolutely no one buys a season pass, which surely would reduce the daily revenue stroke and increase the daily admission appreciably ($18?). It also assumes no discounts for any reason. No discounts for seniors. No discounts for infants. No discounts or subsidies for low-income residents. No off-peak discounts for, say, the last 2 hours of the day – night swims. And no group discounts for day-care group visits or off-hours parties or swimming lessons.

To achieve that revenue figure per visitor, a day pass would cost upwards of $20.

Clarksville charges $6 a day. So does Jeffersonville. Already I’m wondering how many New Albany residents will pay even $6 to use the Gahan pool. But the city confidently asserts that hundreds will pay $20 or more for a day at the aquaplex.

$9 million outdoor pool
OK. Maybe it’s only $8 million. Who could possibly know? Why are we racing to issue bond debt (and encumbering the city far into the future from borrowing for other worthy purposes) for a pool for which we have no design or budget?

On the interest alone (probably $3.5 million over 20 years), we could build 6 spray parks. Operating costs for spray parks are about 6% of the costs to operate an outdoor pool. They are able to remain open much longer without adding costs. Think back to how many scorching days we’ve had in late April and May and how many unseasonably warm days we’ve endured in September and even October. Wouldn’t it be nice to catch a little heat relief without changing into swimwear, driving out to the city limits, and paying $(x) per person to soak in chlorinated water?

I’m not actually proposing we build 6 spray parks, but with that budget, we’re talking “Taj Mahal” spray parks, all paid for off what would have been the interest on a new outdoor swimming pool. And six pools corresponds quite well to the political reality that we have 6 council districts with council members hoping to bring home the “bacon.”

If pressed, I’d propose a spray park along the Greenway, either at the site of the old dump or near the riverfront amphitheater. Others could be included in existing parks or strategically placed to serve that part of the community who, for whatever reason, find dissonance in the idea of driving somewhere to engage in recreation. And with the savings gained, we could build a network of walking paths that connected each of our parks, including spray parks, and thus enhance the … that’ right … quality of life and competitiveness of New Albany as a great place to live.

Finally, these spray parks would be … wait for it … wait … free to attend. The worst that could happen is that they become overcrowded, thereby justifying the establishment of even more such spray parks.

That’s enough for today. Perhaps we’ll return to discuss the need for dog parks, for which we could pay if we don’t build an outdoor pool complex simply to satisfy someone’s edifice complex. And I’ll try to rustle up my previous arguments regarding why putting more money into the farmers’ market site is a fool’s errand.

Welcome to 2013 and let’s hope for a pragmatic future where we take care of the problems we have and look to the future instead of to the 1970s for answers.